Quiet Time

I think quiet time is the one time of the day I look forward to, however when that time arrives, I can't seem to keep quiet. Why do you think that is? There are times during the day when I just can't wait for that time in the evening when the baby goes to bed and I can just pour my heart out to the Lord. Then when it comes, I find myself watching TV or playing computer games. Why can't I sit still? A few months ago I caught sight of an article online where Pope Benedict spoke about prayer. He talks about how we are always busy, rushing to do the next thing. He says he fears we don't even know how to be quiet anymore. Just the other day I was listening to Ravi Zecherias talk about this culture we live in. He mentioned how stay-at-home mom's keep the TV on in the background all day and how joggers need to have earphones on when they are running. He fears that we don't know how to be quiet anymore. Jim Cymbala, pastor of Brooklyn Tabernacle fears that many, many churches today have lost touch with prayer and when there is prayer, there is too much structure and order, not allowing us to freely move with the Holy Spirit. According to Jim Cymbala, prayer is one of the foundations of our faith. It is our avenue to communicate with God, the thing that many of us do less and less. Perhaps I'm only speaking for myself.

How many times have you gone to church and prayed a simple prayer with the congregation and a few seconds/minutes later, the pastor/minister/priest was ready to move on to what's next on the agenda? And how often were you not ready to move on to what was next on the agenda and keep moving in that prayer? Maybe it's never happened to you, but it has happened to me way too much.

For me personally, it is really, really hard for me to sit down before the Lord and just be quiet. There are so many distractions and my mind goes a mile a minute. Thought after thought consumes my mind, and I'm afraid I'm one of those who almost doesn't know how to be quiet. I've used many people as a crutch in my prayer life. It's easy for me to say, well, I forgot, but I'm sure someone else prayed for me.

The thing of it is, I know better. There have been times where I've decided I'm going to give some time to the Lord. I'll tell you what, those times my heart was really into it, I walked away feeling refreshed, like I had the strength to battle the day. I experienced peace and joy because I spent time with my Lord and Savior. Then I fall back into that awful trap of distraction and temptation, and it's weeks before I come back to that place again. And when I do, I realized what I missed over those weeks. Yet, I keep returning to the vicious cycle.

I believe God wants so badly to be in open communication, but how can we when we're just too busy for God and can't even give Him the time of day. Sometimes I think we are tempted by the world to focus on everything but God. We are distracted by television, media, work, computers, children's activities, IPODs, and much, much more. Somehow, without even realizing it, those things become more important. Or we're much too tired to pray, so we distract ourselves with the things that won't make us think.

I sometimes feel lost in the mix. I feel like I can't even think for myself because I haven't given that quiet time to God. I'm terrible at making decisions. I'm not confident in my decisions even once I make them. I always wonder if I'm doing the right thing and it's all because I haven't given that quiet time to God.

How do you fix it? Well, I do know that God knows where I am and He knows exactly what I need. All I need to do is give that quiet time to God and soon hope that the Lord will change that in me. Ravi talked about the distractions in this world. He is married with kids and has wrestled with not having enough time to do it all. He found that in the end his kids suffered because he was just too tired by the end of the day. What he realized is that he needed to decide what was most important in his life and make time for those things. In my mind, quiet time with God should be a priority. It sets the foundation, the standard for the rest of our living. Do you agree?

Why are churches falling apart? One reason is, leaders of the church aren't leading their congregations into deep heart-felt prayer. People are making decisions without seeking God in deep heart-felt prayer. We aren't being taught to pray. In fact, I think in some cases we are being taught everything but.

Those of you who are in my shoes, make a decision. Spend some quiet time with God with me. Share your experiences with me and I will share with you. I'm anxious to see what God has in store. Find those moments in the day and give your heart to God. Turn off your television, computer, cell phones, and anything else that might distract you and be with the one who created you!

The Beginning

You are probably wondering what this whole "journey" thing is about. I wanted to start by blog by telling you how I got here. I was raised in Christianity my whole life. I even accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior at a Young Life camp when I was 13. I thought I always had a grip on what it meant to be a follower of Christ. Just as I started making progress in my high school years, I was tempted into years of sin. Thus began a "too serious" relationship, partying, drinking, and smoking. People were noticing this "lifestyle" I chose, mainly my family. My aunt confronted me one evening about my drinking, and smoking, and everything else. Of course my defenses were up, and I denied most of it. Then it got to a point where even my own friends didn't recognize me, which I realized after one New Year's. Who had I become?

Soon after, my father invited me to be a part of this "new" Young Adult Group that was starting at his church. I agreed to give it a shot. I can't say I completely stopped the partying then, nor did I for a few years following, however, it slowed down tremendously. That young adult group was a fresh start back down the road I should have been following all along. I became a part of a wonderful church family, and even got involved with middle school and high school youth. I had a passion for the youth and didn't want to see them go down the same nasty road I went down.

A few years later, an acquaintance of mine that I met through karaoke, decided to become more than just acquaitances. He was a Catholic. SHOCK!!!!! I never thought I would date a Catholic. This Catholic was different. He was more spiritual. Perhaps some of it was hiding, but I knew it was there, and slowly he was open to learning more and more about Christ. The desire was always there. He just needed some guidance. At any rate, he brought me into the Catholic church. I think it raised some concerns from some people, but I took the RCIA class, and I realized that there were many strengths in the Catholic church. In fact, I don't think the Catholic church is any worse than any other institutional church. I don't want to get into all the Catechism stuff, however, the parish I was involved with was very different. Even though they had "rules and guidelines," it was more Holy Spirit driven. They were able to sway from the "law."

My husband (my fiance at the time) and I decided to take the "Life in the Spirit" seminar. At the end of the 6-weeks, they prayed over us. When they prayed over me, one woman envisioned these walking sneakers. She said I was on a journey, and it wasn't about the journey of marriage, which of course was a journey, but this meant something else. Hmmmmm. I couldn't understand what that meant, but okay. I accepted it.

I don't think I realized this "journey" until about 18 months later, when my spiritual foundation was shaken. It was easy to get caught up in the rituals and liturgy and lose sight of why I was really at church on Sunday mornings. Then I went through a period of bitterness against the "institutional church." I kept telling myself they had it all wrong. Was it right for me to think that way? No, but I did. What made matters worse, was that my husband and I were not on the same page, so I just had to keep crying out in prayer. Was something wrong with me? or When were my husband and I going to see eye to eye?

Then his foundation was shaken. A questions weighed heavily on his heart, "why do I believe what I believe? Do I believe because I believe or because that's what I was taught my whole life?" It was this very question which caused us to take a short-term vacation from church all together. We met with my aunt or attended my father's bible study once a week instead.

After some time, we decided to check out a different church. It was a non-denominational church. We liked it. There were some things that didn't seem to fall in place, but we were planning on attending the following week, until my aunt told us about a church she visited. She told us we should really check it out, so we did. It has been some time now, and we haven't stopped going since.

My husband and I agreed, this was church! This is what we've been looking for. No church is perfect and I'm not saying this one is, but it is perfect for us. I've never experienced a sense of community like I did here. People noticed we were new, and they talked to us. Each week, they made themselves known and invited us to become a part of their smaller community, link groups.

We found a wonderful link group with families like us. There were also couples and singles to add some diversity, which I think is important. This church teaches DISCIPLESHIP!!!!!! They teach Christ in simple form. It's not about going through the motions, it's about living!

I can't say I've solved all of my problems, but it's a step in the right direction. I will never have it all figured out, but as I wrestle with thoughts and ideas, I have a family to wrestle through them with me and encourage me and perhaps lead me to truth.

One thing I must mention, the churches I've left behind are still a family to me. Even though we have left the Catholic church doesn't mean we've stopped loving our Catholic believers. It just means God has taken has taken us on our own journey, but in our separate, individual journeys, I hope that people of all denominations can come together on those core foundational beliefs and become the church Christ has called us to be. We should be encouraging one another, even if our journeys and purposes are not the same.

Forgive me if I've left out certain pieces of the story. I just felt they weren't relevant to this particular topic, however down the road, I may decided to fill in the gaps.